Movie Review: New Moon

Hey, I just came back from watching New Moon (Twilight saga).  It was surprisingly better than what critics were saying!  Well, at least I think so.

Here are the things they should improve on.  (Sorry, I am always negative before I am positive).

Number One:  First off, I'd like to say that all the actors are ugly.  Stewart (Bella) should get braces, Pattinson (Edward) should just like, get replaced or something 'cause his overall visual is only somewhat bolstered by his awesome hair, and Lautner (Jacob) and his wolfy gang should get some lives.  The Volturi looked nothing like I'd expected, the Cullens don't look all that good-looking, and etc, etc, and more etc.  Should I continue?  Oh yeah, I forgot something:  ETC. 

Number Two:  Ur, Pattinson?  Have you ever considered taking acting lessons?  I'm sure the local dance studio around here would accept someone like you.  They have a class for two year olds I'm sure you'd fit nicely in.  Stewart's acting has improved slightly from the previous movie, but eh, she should still work on it.  Better go enroll too with your true love.  Lautner's acting is actually pretty good, so I have nothing to say there.

Number Three:  The effects still look fake.  Very fake.  The wolves are horribly unrealistic, the sparkling textures of the vampires' skins remind me of amateur Photoshop animation, the cliff-diving was SO undramatic, and the slow motion isn't cool at all.  Especially in the beginning part with Edward Cullen slowly approaching Bella at school.  (Run, Bella, run!)

That's about it.  Now for the good things about the movie.

Number One:  Thank you, director, for making the stupid plot seem interesting!  Yes, the plot sucks.  Seriously, Edward Cullen decides to kill himself after a misunderstanding over the phone?  Mr. Director, good job.  I only yawned twice.

Number Two:  Lovely settings.  Good idea on shooting the scenes in Vancouver.  Lol, remember the part where it rains?  Typical.  Someone should just rename Vancouver to Raincouver.


Number Three:  Give yourself a pat on the back, whoever wrote the script, because the movie actually did differ from the book.  (I own the book so I know).  It wasn't exactly the same, so us bookworms could actually guess wrong about what happens next!  Yay, bookworms!

Number Four:  Is there a number four?  Oh yeah, there is.  New Moon was just an overall terrific movie, despite the errors and such that I pointed out.

OK, but in a way, the whole Twilight thing still freaks me out slightly.  Read this.  A friend sent it to me.  Scary, huh?  Poor Pattinson.

But the real frightening thing is this:  SOME PATTINSON FANS ARE BECOMING LAUTNER FANS.  Run, peoples, run!

My rating of The Twilight Saga:  New Moon:  4/5 Stars

Knock yourself dead, fangirls.  Knock yourself dead.

-Vociferously yours, Vicky.

EDIT:  I posted a poll.  Please vote!