Technology Overwhelms Me Greatly

I am sad to say that I am definitely not caught up with modern day technology.  It's terrible!  I feel horrifically overwhelmed by all the new electronic devices on the market.  And it amazes me how these devices get updated.  Take the cellphone, for example:

So first, there was no cellphone.  There was only, well, the telephone.  But *gasp*, it had a cord.  Years later, *gasp* they took the cord away.  Suddenly, people no longer had to stay in one place while chatting.  Furthermore, there were less and less bruises on people's knees.  Like they say, you can't trip over a cordless phone.  Then, they added caller ID.  Now, you KNOW who's calling you.  There isn't the need to pick up the phone and ask, "Who is this?"  Now, you just KNOW.  *scary thoughts*

But then the industries thought, why not make an even smaller phone that could be used anywhere?  The cellphone was invented.  Our family has one of those really old cellphones with only black pixels and no WiFi.  I'm so glad we don't use that one anymore.  Now we have a full colour one with internet and pretty ringtones.  I thought that was pretty good already.  Mais un jour...J'ai découvert le iPhone.

What the heck?  There are TOUCH SCREEN phones now?  Where you can download APS?  And these "smartphones" are so smart that they can do almost anything?  Oh, wow.

Then I thought, "at least my laptop's pretty modern."  So I go online to YahooNews and in my face, I see a news headline about the iPad.  When did they invent touch screen laptops?  And they're so thin, it's creepy.  My friend has one of these things, and I was so surprised when the screen rotated when I accidentally turned it upside down.  Now, they have a new version of it.  I do NOT want to see what it can do.

Contact lenses are getting pretty cool lately as well.  Supposedly, there are these things you wear at night, and then in the morning, when you take them off, everything will be clear.  I believe they're dubbed "night contacts".

Not to mention 3D TV.  And TV glasses.  And cars that can parallel park for you.

...

My head hurts.  I need an aspirin.

-Vociferously yours, Vicky.